Xenophobic attacks happen when you don’t understand who you are.

When my son started high school l went to meet his teacher with the intention of finding out what l could do as a parent to improve his grade in history. She responded in a very unexpected way! She informed me that she hoped that l would encourage my son to listen to the news to help him gain a deep understanding of the current issues!

On seeing the surprised look on my face she explained that all current issues can be linked back to our history. She further alleged that all human beings behave the same and history enables us to predict future human behaviour!

In order for us as Africans to understand ourselves, we need to study our history. Studying our history will empower us and direct our steps in the future. Most importantly we will discover that Africans are all one?

When the colonisers descended on Africa they started by deviding us,they then split our land into small parts, imposed borders on us and told us that we were no longer the same. We became different countries with different nationalities! Prior to that we were one big happy family (ok this last sentence is an exaggeration but you get the gist?).

For the countries that got devided and still maintained peace they took it up a notch and instigated tribal wars. This is all in our history.

Referring back to the horrors of South Africa…..the current Xenophobic attacks going on in South Africa right now on immigrants are the 2nd round of attacks. They did this before!

When l got sent footage of the horrors happening in South Africa, I threw down my phone in shock. l could not bear to watch the rest of it. I deleted the whole clip without passing it on. It was so graphic l struggled to get it out of my mind!

A man was on fire, obviously an immigrant. He was stumbling about in pain and suffering as he tried to run he was pushed back to the ground by the people surrounding him who stood watching him. They taunted and spat at him, when the fire appeared to die down they threw card board on top of him to reignite the fire.

This has happened in the past in other African countries. Remember Rwanda?
What about the black on black crime in London.

Understanding history isn’t about laying the blame. Unfortunately blaming people who by the way deserve to be blamed does us no good. It simply relieves us of responsibility. It makes us become victims who can’t help themselves. We need to claim back our power let’s educate ourselves let’s understand that we all one people in Africa. If you derive joy from killing one who looks like you then you hate yourself. Look in the mirror and ask yourself where those thoughts came from ? Could you replace them with the truth ?

Nobody can do this for us empowerment means understanding who we are for the purposes of becoming someone better.

Only when we love and understand ourselves will we be able to solve our problems.

What is happening in South Africa is evil and it should never have continued.
However when Nigerians respond by looting South African businesses it demonstrates how deep rooted our issues are in Africa. Two wrongs will never make a right.

Let’s address the issues that we have brushed under the carpet for too long. Let’s talk about it, let’s do something about it. Let’s tell our children our history, they need to know that all who are in Africa and those who came from Africa are brothers and sisters. Our minds were conditioned to hate each other but we can recondition our minds in the same way they did it.

What l did when l didn’t know what to do!

 Before l go into the blog l would just like to say that l have noticed a spike in the number of readers and subscribers to the blog. May l take this opportunity to thank and welcome you and let you know how much l appreciate you stopping by to check our blog. On this blog we mainly reflect on success principles because success is available to anybody who seeks it, including you the reader, you are significant you have a gift and you are meant to be here on earth for a purpose!

Two weeks ago, l went away on vacation and during the holiday, although l was having a good time on the surface. I made a grievous error by   failing to maintain all the learned habits, l had worked hard to master. Unsurprisingly, l began to feel clutter accumulating in my mind. By the time l returned l was feeling sad instead of refreshed.  After a few days of returning l experienced terrible holiday blues and all my life worries came back and l felt tearful and depressed.  This prompted a reflection on where l was in life?

I started getting books from the library.

In the few days that l failed to maintain my positive habits l lost complete focus on everything in my life. Although, my life hasn’t reached where l would like yet, l realised that l should still have been grateful, for the improvement made to date. I have achieved unexpected milestones on my project of creating a product from my imagination! Although, l have a few hoops to jump through before launching this product, l failed to acknowledge the headway accomplished as of now. The answer to appreciating my achievements lay in  reinstating my habits and that’s exactly what l did! Life is an inside job and we just have to do our best ( Sia Australian Musician).

Referring back to our topic, when l felt that l needed to change my life but didn’t know how these are the habits l implemented and started practising. I would like to say religiously but it’s sheer determination to stick to these habits daily. Sometimes l fail for one reason or another.  The goal is to carry on as soon as possible if l ever stop.

One of my starting points was, “ted talks”, where l heard, a millionaire voicing my exact thoughts. He mentioned how he was depressed about his life prior to making it, and seeking change but not knowing what to do?  That guy then explained that the first thing that he did was reading books.  He   explained that he got books from the library as he was broke. I didn’t finish watching the show, immediately l left for the library and when l got to the library it dawned on me that l hadn’t listened long enough to hear what books to read. I returned home empty handed that day because l didn’t know what l was looking for. Anyway, to cut the story short l kept searching until l discovered that l needed to read books on success.  A whole new world opened up to me, as l discovered and started learning about principles that l didn’t even know existed!

 I also found out that, it’s impossible to move to a new phase of life without a new strategy or developing new habits. My new habits/ principles/ strategies which l obtained from the books  included reading, listening to motivational talk, journaling, praying, affirmations etc. I was made to understand that knowledge is available to those who seek it!

Reading made the most impact on me because this one habit led me to the other habits.  l kept reading until l came across the book that influenced me most titled, “The game of life and how to play it” by Florence Scovel Shinn.  This book taught me that in order to create something you observe the problems surrounding you and seek to solve them! Prior to that, l thought l could only create if l am artistic and l didn’t view myself as artistic. The idea for my product literally came to mind whilst reading this book!

Furthermore, l also learnt about the barriers to success such as lack of discipline, persistence, will power etc which stop you achieving success.  Having an idea is only the beginning of the battle.  l needed to not only understand varied success principles but to implement them very well in my life!

 Any progress achieved in my life so far is due to habits implemented when l embarked on the journey to discover what to do with my life.  It is a way of life and If l pause practising the habits the progress also stops.

Although l am yet to realise my dream, my greatest satisfaction came when l began to learn new life skills and began to grow.  When growing comes to a halt, we feel frustrated, and left out and we compare ourselves to others. I have learned that when we stop acquiring new knowledge we stop learning and growing which our minds depend on. We begin to die slowly in our minds and feeling frustrated  denotes that our mind  maybe crying out for help.

My current read is a book titled “Willpower” by Ros Taylor and if anyone would like me to share what l would have learnt please let me know in the comments section.

I am livid!

 Well that’s how l feel right now. The positive side of anger is that if handled correctly it drives us to act. My anger has led me to write this blog which is about an incident that occurred in Zimbabwe yesterday.  Although Zimbabwe was once known as one of the most literate of most countries in Africa, our weakness as a people has been that we remained silent for so long whilst masses and masses of injustices took place and now the politicians in power have reached a point of no return. Personally, l can no longer stay silent about it and l refuse to be silenced.

Yesterday a Zimbabwean comedian called Samantha Kureya, (Gonyeti) was abducted from her home in the evening by masked gunmen. They turned up in 6 vehicles at her house, located in one of the suburban areas in Harare. They apparently stormed into their home, pointing their guns at everyone including children?  The masked gunmen then proceeded to subject the whole family to unimaginable maltreatment which included beating everyone with weapons.

Samantha Kureya the abducted commedian.

After a while, they took away Gonyeti to an undisclosed location where they continued inflicting abuse on her by forcing her to undress and they ruthlessly whipped her naked body using all kinds of weapons! They also obtained sewage water and forced her to drink it whilst threatening to kill her mother if she ever told anyone about the abduction!

They then dumbed her naked and vulnerable late in the night in an unfamiliar suburb. As it was late and dark, she had to go through 6 houses before anybody could help. Unsurprisingly people were distrustful of being approached by an unclad stranger in a poorly lit environment asking for clothes and help.

Eventually, someone was kind enough to throw some clothes to our Gonyeti through the window and that’s how she was then able to go to the nearest police station to seek help. The police then reunited Gonyeti with her family. Her family took her to the hospital where she had scans performed which showed no fractures, but everyone remains concerned about her health because she was force fed sewage water.

 In my opinion this lady is a brave comedian who has been producing accurate and critical skits about the police and leaders of Zimbabwe on how they conduct themselves. She is a hero breaking down barriers because historically comedians have found it difficult to make jokes about the authority fearing jail or worse. She dared to do this in a country where political activists have been captured and disappeared for good.

I wanted her to know that l am standing together with her and the politicians need to understand that it’s impossible to silence people especially when they know they are in the wrong. I suggest that the politicians in Zimbabwe spend their energy and resources at correcting the problems of the country rather than punishing people for speaking up against them.

Goodbye Disney thanks for the memories but l will never miss you!

After spending my last day at the park yesterday, l started reflecting and concluded that the memories you gave us have been great!As my kids are getting older and we have visited you a couple of times l think you’ll have to admit that it’s sensible for us to go our separate ways! Disney, for an expensive holiday it got a bit too much!As l said the memories that we created with you are great but whenever we came to see you we always experienced a great sense of dread!When we arrived, it was reassuring to see the men protecting you, in full army regalia with their guns pointing and ready to shoot!

However, this emphasized the danger for us especially when we noticed how crowded the place was!We endured all the queuing starting with the que to get through security. Queuing to be let into the park. Queuing to get onto the different rides, queuing to view different attractions, queuing for autographs with the pretend “Mickey”.Queuing to use the toilet, queuing to buy lunch and then queuing for somewhere to sit and eat our lunch.Queuing to drink water at the fountain. Joining the que to buy icecream and then finding out that it’s all ran out when we got to the front of the que?In between the very long walks we did yet more queuing until we found a que leading out of the park much to our relief. Our legs didn’t feel like they were still there.So we crawled back to the hotel and slumped onto our beds too tired to be interested in any thing else.

You with the sad eyes

In the book of Joel God said that he will restore all the years that have been stolen in your life.
I see that you’re determined to break out of the mould and leave your mark on this world! I believe God has given you seeds of greatness. I want you to know that people don’t determine your destiny but God does. Sometimes the people closest to you may not support you, let it go and run your race. Did you know God has put dreams in all of us but the responsibility of stirring them up is up to us.

You’re doing this and you inspire me. You should stay focused never let delay destruct your dreams.
Your dreams are right on time because God works in seasons. God can make a way where there is no way. God can create success sooner than expected because he’s a supernatural being.
You’re coming into overflow and you’re going to set a new standard in your family and life. The forces that are for you are bigger than the forces against you.
When negative things that don’t destruct your dreams are happening it means you’re on the right path way to your dream stay in faith.
Remember what God whispered to you in the night, the secret petitions of your heart? The stuff that you haven’t told anyone about? God is saying, l’ve spoken it l’m true to my word and it’s on the way!
My dear l need you to understand that when God puts a dream in your heart, they will be tough times and when those tough times come, God wants you to remember that he himself put those dreams in your heart and you’re to hold onto the promises of God. The dream will be fulfilled.
The right people, the right breaks are headed your way. Be prepared by stirring what God has given you.
Everything that has happened in your life so far is a set up for God to get you where you ought to be!

Her breath smelt of poo and vinegar!

One day when my daughter returned from school as per usual, we had our tea, rested and started getting ready for her singing session, until l noticed that my daughter wasn’t budging! When l asked her why, she informed me that she no longer wanted to carry on with her singing lesson’s because the singing teacher had a breath which smelt of poo and vinegar!

Not my daughter but someone who looks like her.

l was nonplussed by this. What was shocking was how she was able to come up with a new excuse every time she changed her mind about a commitment previously agreed on. My daughter is 7 and whilst l was not angry with her, l’ll have to admit l was getting a little frustrated. She loves to sing, that’s all she ever does.  l only suggested involving a singing teacher when she told me how desperately she wanted to sing professionally like the popstars!

Prior to this, she had also informed me about how she wanted to be skilful at dancing. After attending the dancing school, you guessed it she came up with a silly excuse.

Just like my daughter l have also come up with ingenious ways of encouraging her to commit to what she likes. I do this because knowing how to prepare my children for a future that doesn’t yet exist  is  by far the most challenging responsibility of a parent. Where possibly all careers might become automated. Leading my children to a place where being successful might only be realised by those who are creative, curious and innovative.  A future where people may only be hired for not only what they know but for what they can do with what they know.

 Successful individuals consider being creative as the most important leadership skill. For this reason,  l resolved to unearth my kid’s talents and  develop them now because the future starts now.  No matter how ridiculous the excuses get. The idea is to give them space to be creative and express their true selves through doing what they enjoy.

Your children are not your children, they are the son’s and daughters of life longing itself. They come through you, but not from you and although they are with you they do not belong to you. You may give them your love, but not your thoughts. They have their own thoughts, you may house their bodies, but not their souls for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow (Khalil Gibran).

Being proactive versus being reactive.

When my husband and l noticed that the car had deteriorated in age.  Although we had no major problems with the car.  We began planning to change the car for a newer model.  We knew that if we prolonged use of the car, it might end up completely breaking down.

 Hence, we decided to search for deals available to buy a new car. We had our old car assessed to assert it’s value. The company responsible for assessing our car informed us that the car was worth a measly amount and we disagreed with this conclusion.

 The car was a decent Honda-CRV, and fully functional. Consequently, we enlisted the car on Ebay, with a very detailed description of the age and state of the car .We invited bids by requesting prospective buyers to offer what they perceived the car was worth.

 Proving what we thought, customers began bidding until they got up to a thousand pounds!  The individual who won the bid and subsequently bought the car paid one thousand pounds.

Consequently, we raised the deposit for the new car. Through this, we acquired a decent amount for the much needed deposit.  The car was not broken down yet, hence we had plenty of time to hunt for suitable deals matching our circumstances. I realised that by taking this option we had started to grow our proactive muscle.

However, if we had decided to carry on, with the old car until it was completely broken down, we wouldn’t have had enough time to raise a deposit. We would have needed the car immediately to avoid becoming desperate and stranded at home. We would have had no means of getting to work and school. This would have left us at a disadvantage, liable and vulnerable to accepting unfavourable deals and terms.

Taking the later option would mean reacting to the situation.  Although the problem would be resolved we would end up gaining a bad deal. Being reactive is dealing with things as they come, not planning in advance. Generally, always unprepared and surprised at the turn of events.  Blaming the circumstances and everyone around and ending up in difficult situations.

Trying to improve myself has been about looking at every decision and every thought to see if I’m being proactive or reactive to my situation. Being proactive is about being very organised and projecting myself into the future.  Never blaming anyone when things go wrong. Understanding the relationship between being reactive and proactive and making the choice is what constant improvement is all about.