What made me decide to pursue my purpose.


Even though I was juggling a busy job, enjoying being a mum and a wife l still should have been experiencing fulfilment, l thought. I concluded this because having a marriage and a family is a blessing from God, it is the epitome of self-actualisation.

l couldn’t help but notice the growing feeling of discontent. I presumed that this feeling was being generated by the stressful job in my life. Needless to say l now know that this job could have been less stressful if my life was being guided by vision, goals and dreams.

 l discovered that in order to have a fulfilling life l needed these things in my life. The problem was that not only did l not have dreams, but I didn’t know what my dreams were. Worse still l didn’t have any talents and l hadn’t spent any time exploring what my habits or passions are. This is typical when you neglect self-love, you become a stranger to yourself and no one can help you.

The more l searched the more l discovered that every single one of us has talents. The only way to discover the talents, dreams and goals that could transform our life was by engaging self-love and getting to know ourselves.

Prior to this l had assumed that I was too busy to spend time on my habits, l thought l  had no talents and felt like l didn’t need these things. I just focused on the job which enabled me to earn a living.  This is the reason why l had remained stressed and lacked contentment with my life.

l needed to have dreams and goals to eradicate the stress in my life. Having dreams and goals means that you have something to focus on no matter what challenges life throws at you.

The sunflower has a special skill called heliotropism, it always faces the sun. It can turn itself and follow the sun no matter what and we possess this same strain. Being stressed is a decision we can avoid.

We avoid it by creating time and spending it on getting to know ourselves. This can include journaling and reflecting on our lives.   Becoming really intentional about searching for our likes and dislikes. The secret desires that God has hidden in our hearts.  Considering what our expectations out of life are and deciding that achieving our dreams is our birth right and we are entitled to them.

Feeling   convinced that we are worthy and we deserve the best out of life. This is selflove, when we practise this, we will be able to create a vision for our lives.  We will develop our dreams and create goals then banish the stress from our life. We will become very busy  pursuing our dreams to feel stressed about life.

Goodbye Disney thanks for the memories but l will never miss you!

After spending my last day at the park yesterday, l started reflecting and concluded that the memories you gave us have been great!As my kids are getting older and we have visited you a couple of times l think you’ll have to admit that it’s sensible for us to go our separate ways! Disney, for an expensive holiday it got a bit too much!As l said the memories that we created with you are great but whenever we came to see you we always experienced a great sense of dread!When we arrived, it was reassuring to see the men protecting you, in full army regalia with their guns pointing and ready to shoot. However, this emphasized the danger for us especially when we noticed how crowded the place was!We endured all the queuing starting with the que to get through security. Queuing to be let into the park. Queuing to get onto the different rides, queuing to view different attractions, queuing for autographs with the pretend “Mickey”.Queuing to use the toilet, queuing to buy lunch and then queuing for somewhere to sit and eat our lunch.Queuing to drink water at the fountain. Joining the que to buy icecream and then finding out that it’s all ran out when we got to the front of the que?In between the very long walks we did yet more queuing until we found a que leading out of the park much to our relief. Our legs didn’t feel like they were still there.So we crawled back to the hotel and slumped onto our beds too tired to be interested in any thing else.

You with the sad eyes

In the book of Joel God said that he will restore all the years that have been stolen in your life.
I see that you’re determined to break out of the mould and leave your mark on this world! I believe God has given you seeds of greatness. I want you to know that people don’t determine your destiny but God does. Sometimes the people closest to you may not support you, let it go and run your race. Did you know God has put dreams in all of us but the responsibility of stirring them up is up to us. You’re doing this and you inspire me. You should stay focused never let delay destruct your dreams.
Your dreams are right on time because God works in seasons. God can make a way where there is no way. God can create success sooner than expected because he’s a supernatural being.
You’re coming into overflow and you’re going to set a new standard in your family and life. The forces that are for you are bigger than the forces against you.
When negative things that don’t destruct your dreams are happening it means you’re on the right path way to your dream stay in faith.
Remember what God whispered to you in the night, the secret petitions of your heart? The stuff that you haven’t told anyone about? God is saying, l’ve spoken it l’m true to my word and it’s on the way!
My dear l need you to understand that when God puts a dream in your heart, they will be tough times and when those tough times come, God wants you to remember that he himself put those dreams in your heart and you’re to hold onto the promises of God. The dream will be fulfilled.
The right people, the right breaks are headed your way. Be prepared by stirring what God has given you.
Everything that has happened in your life so far is a set up for God to get you where you ought to be!

Her breath smelt of poo and vinegar!

One day when my daughter returned from school as per usual, we had our tea, rested and started getting ready for her singing session, until l noticed that my daughter wasn’t budging! When l asked her why, she informed me that she no longer wanted to carry on with her singing lesson’s because the singing teacher had a breath which smelt of poo and vinegar!

Not my daughter but someone who looks like her.

l was nonplussed by this. What was shocking was how she was able to come up with a new excuse every time she changed her mind about a commitment previously agreed on. My daughter is 7 and whilst l was not angry with her, l’ll have to admit l was getting a little frustrated. She loves to sing, that’s all she ever does.  l only suggested involving a singing teacher when she told me how desperately she wanted to sing professionally like the popstars!

Prior to this, she had also informed me about how she wanted to be skilful at dancing. After attending the dancing school, you guessed it she came up with a silly excuse.

Just like my daughter l have also come up with ingenious ways of encouraging her to commit to what she likes. I do this because knowing how to prepare my children for a future that doesn’t yet exist  is  by far the most challenging responsibility of a parent. Where possibly all careers might become automated. Leading my children to a place where being successful might only be realised by those who are creative, curious and innovative.  A future where people may only be hired for not only what they know but for what they can do with what they know.

 Successful individuals consider being creative as the most important leadership skill. For this reason,  l resolved to unearth my kid’s talents and  develop them now because the future starts now.  No matter how ridiculous the excuses get. The idea is to give them space to be creative and express their true selves through doing what they enjoy.

Your children are not your children, they are the son’s and daughters of life longing itself. They come through you, but not from you and although they are with you they do not belong to you. You may give them your love, but not your thoughts. They have their own thoughts, you may house their bodies, but not their souls for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow (Khalil Gibran).

Why we should all be cheering the Zimbabwean netball team!

Like all Zimbabweans all over the world l have been utterly glued to my screen relishing the triumph being generated by the Zimbabwe netball team on their debut in the netball world cup.

As the world watched the Zimbabwe netball team rise to stardom most were not aware of the journey that these ladies had taken to be where they are today. As they participate in the Olympics the Zimbabwean community is fraught with rumours about the tough time, that these ladies are experiencing, since they arrived in the UK.

 l learned about the Zimbabwean netball team making it to the world cup, when a Zimbabwe tabloid aired a story alleging that the newly arrived team had been chucked out of their hotel in Liverpool UK!  Left stranded in a youth hostel without food due to lack of funds. Eventually getting rehoused in a hotel after protesting but still going without lunch at times even as they competed in the Olympics.

 The Zimbabwean community in the diaspora then rallied around to support the struggling team by donating funds to help the team.  Allegedly those same funds got diverted to the politicians who needed the money to pay for their own air fare to come and watch the starving team. The team who are representing the country in the Olympics without receiving any allowances!  When the president of the Zimbabwe netball team was asked to account for the funds provided, she responded by telling the journalist to go to hell!

Despite all this the Zimbabwean girls stormed onto the Marks and Spencer Bank Arena in Liverpool and everyone was astounded by their performance.  They are set to make it to the top 10 based on how they are performing currently.

I love how they have accumulated lots of fans from all the four corners of the world!  l feel so proud to be affiliated with the Zimbabwean team. Success feels good, it’s attractive! Everyone aspires to be associated with a favourable outcome. The Zimbabwean netball team have given the community a glimmer of hope, in the midst of challenging times.

I couldn’t help but reflect on this. Although everybody is celebrating Zimbabwe’s success now. I believe that their journey to success started long before everyone knew about their existence.  25 years ago, to be precise, they have been training for that long according to the coach. Victory started  the day they made a decision to follow a strict  training routine to make themselves fit. What we are observing now is the result of the discipline they had to enforce on themselves when no one was watching.  It is about how they used their time to take them from ordinary individuals to Olympic sensations overnight! They utilised time effectively such that it made them win over experienced teams who have been participating in the Olympics for years. All these unwavering success attributes turned them to superstars overnight!

Those lazy people at work who get promoted anyway!

A young, newly employed doctor walked into a hospital for the first time. After observing all the different nurses in their impressive colourful uniforms running around performing their busy tasks, he couldn’t help but ask? What do all these different uniforms mean he asked? Dr Patel who was writing his notes on the nurses station, quickly got up,  introduced himself and immediately launched an  explanation, you see Dr  Lee, the  nurses in the navy blue tunics are the ones who do the talking and they are very popular with the nursing management even though they do nothing!  Then you have the nurses in the light blue uniforms, now these ones do the work. They really do work hard. Indeed, but they are not so popular with the management! Obviously, Dr Lee was dumbfounded by this exposition!

The different kind of uniforms worn by nurses in hospital.
Nurses working in a hospital ward.

Although the nurses in the navy uniform, appeared to be all talk and no work, they were mostly  managing the department.  Certainly, part of their duties involved delegating most times, but they also had their fair share of challenges in their role. Insinuating or labelling them as lazy was unfair. The nurses in the light blue uniform were the junior ones and their work involved a lot of the basic nursing care. Which is probably the most important aspect of nursing care. However, nurses work as a multidisciplinary team and the general consensus is that all the different nurses play a crucial role and none is less essential.

However, Dr Patel flagged up very familiar and common misconception not just in nursing but in all the work places. Many a times myself included, felt frustrated in a work situation because some individuals appeared to be able to talk their way, not only into a promotion but could also  manipulate the boss to consider them as the  favourite employee? Whilst all the hard working and smart people who really do the work are overlooked and perceived as unpopular. Remaining plugged in to motivation has led me to change my thinking and challenge this assumption!

I have discovered that they are two types of people in any work place, the whiners and the thinkers. The whiners are often very smart and dedicated employees who work long hours but  they  are always  in the managers office complaining. Apparently, they are great at finding fault with other employees and pointing out the wrongs in the system. The problem is that  they are a  drain on anyone who comes into contact with them. They are so negative and  you end up trying to make them feel better  and after that you feel depressed. The thinkers on the other hand have a different way of handling issues they also go into the office but they are not in there to complain.  They have seen the same problems as the whiners but they have already thought of possible solutions and they go into the office with ideas of how to solve the  problems. I know which one l want to be.

 When you commit to self motivation you will follow the realm of the thinker naturally These people are more valuable to the organisation and themselves. It’s no wonder they are doing so well!

I am not my hair.

Lately l have noticed how hard  it is to stay motivated. It is also challenging  and  difficult to remain positive. What’s more, motivating people is  worth a staggering billion dollars, so lucrative!

I pondered  about this and concluded that they can never be too much motivation material produced. Once you begin the self development journey you begin to realise that you need more and that you will will need it for the rest of your life and it becomes a lifestyle choice.

 I reached this conclusion  after interacting with a newly met friend in the name of stepping out of my comfort zone.During the interaction l even bagged a compliment! So why was l left with the bad taste in my mouth?

We had ended up sitting next to each other with this lady, l had just met, whilst out and about socialising. The conversation lingered on to what we both did for a living. At which point l offered a response explaining that l was taking time off from my career with a view to changing it altogether.

Although l made it clear that l wasn’t in a hurry to make this move my new  friend went onto to tell me, how she had a lovely job and recommended that l put in an application as they’re always recruiting. I was going to tell her about how l believed that all skills are transferable and that l actually believed l could fit into that job,when she looked at me smiling and said they will absolutely love your hair?

She really meant well there was no sarcasm or any malice intended. In that moment l realised that she was equating all my worth to how l looked!  l knew that l certainly didn’t want a job where l could be perceived based on my looks. As any women of colour would tell you l look forward to having my hair done and l want to look presentable attractive etc.

But when l present myself for a job l would hope that they would look beyond my hair and that they would realise that even when they don’t approve of my hair, l will still be able to carry out my duties to the best of my abilities. I never wanted to accept a job where l will be obsessed with my hair and paralysed with worry knowing that if it looked a certain way then it may affect my job?

Whilst it’s acceptable to push myself and step out of my comfort zone, the reality is that l  have to deal with the consequences of dealing with people who might think less of me.

This is the challenge with staying positive. It’s literally day by day moment, moment by moment, hour by hour decision kind of thing. Being new to this way of thinking  can be exhausting and draining and that’s why l need to stay plugged in to a good source of positive inspiration and motivation. 

 I acknowledge that she thought my hair was lovely. l kindly thanked her for the compliment but l realise that l can only grow when l make a conscious decision that l will not be boxed in. I am more than my hair.

Would this have stopped you?

A young man was extremely ambitious, driven and very keen to become a politician. When he felt ready he decided to launch his campaign.

On the day of launching his campaign, only one person turned up. After waiting for a while hoping and wishing for more people to turn up, it finally dawned on him that they were no other people coming.

So he walked up to the only person who had turned up and said, “Man l’m only a young inexperienced politician, do you think l should deliver this speech?” The individual, who was from the nearby farm, replied and said , “l don’t know anything about politics, l’m just a cow handler from the farm.But what l do know is that if l called the cattle to feed and only one came l would go ahead and feed it.”So the young politician went ahead and delivered the speech. He spoke for 2 hours straight and his audience ,which was made up of this one farmer, maintained an expressionless face the whole time so the politician had no idea how he had performed.

So he asked the man what he thought of his speech?.The man cleared his throat and stated, ” like l said before l’m only a cow man from the farm and still don’t know much about politics but what l do know is this, if l called my cattle to feed and only one turned up l certainly wouldn’t dump all the hay on just the one cow.”