I need to stop being too helpful

Yesterday l listened to a motivational pod cast done by a super human being called Paul Scanlon. He was talking about how we should stop being too helpful after he had been pestered by a shop assistant who followed him everywhere and offered help? In the end he felt claustrophobic and had to leave the shop before he even bought what he needed. I could relate, can you?

Apparently being too helpful demonstrates that you are a controlling person and you are not able to leave things as they are. You feel a need to interfere and have everything exactly how you want it (Paul Scanlon).

You know how everybody has that one relative who is over helpful to everyone at the expense of their own life. I thought yes, they need to hear this, l wish they were here with me.

Then l became fully conscious and stopped daydreaming. “What about you,” the little voice in my mind asked? “Don’t you have anything to learn from this ?” The voice carried on, “you may not be financially committed to helping those irresponsible extended family members but how about the fact that you do too much for your kids and take away their independence. How you literally do almost everything for your kids because if they did it themselves it wouldn’t look the way you want it to look”.

This was a pivotal moment for me because l realised that this message is for me. It was not for my relatives because they are busy enjoying their bliss in ignorance. I had made the choice to develop myself and l was the one who desired wholeness. I am the one who believed that success isn’t all about mastering financial independence but could also be about healthy relationships with the closest in my life through assisting them to also be better version of themselves.

The extreme end of being too helpful

I realised that l needed to be vigilant and claim that a message will change me and me only even before l start listening or reading a self help message. Has this happened to you before?

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