At the dawn of the day, deep in the African forest. There is a gazelle waking up to a new day.  This gazelle  is filled with determination. As it wakes up to face a new day, it knows that it has to run very hard and very fast to preserve it’s life. It knows that the only way it can stay alive is to outrun the lion or else it loses it’s life and becomes the lion’s dinner.

On the other hand, the lion is also waking up to a new day. This lion is filled with purpose and the goal for the day is chase and catch a gazelle  without fail in order to feed and not starve. This lion knows that if it doesn’t run hard and fast it will die of hunger. It needs to consume the gazelle to survive.

 In other words, for these  two animals it really doesn’t matter whether it’s a gazelle or a lion planning the day. Both animals know that, when the sun starts shining they better start running   and they have to run whether they like it or not because their life depends on it. The overall goal is to live long but, everyday, they perform a task towards achievement of the overall goal.

This lesson teaches me a lot. Does it teach you anything? Please leave a comment.

After starting my Blog and writing for a while.  l began to think about stepping out of my comfort zone, subsequent to realising that my church did not seem to have a blog. l thought about offering my services to write and manage the church Blog. Specifically, l wanted to reflect on the Pastor’s sermons to cater for those who were not able to watch the recorded sermons but could spare a few minutes to read.

The more l contemplated on this idea the more l felt overwhelmed with fear, ultimately   l decided against pursuing this goal.

I know that successful people are highly ambitious and they challenge themselves, constantly to step out of the comfort zone.  My conclusion was not entirely based on fear. The reality for me Altovise, is that not many people are reading My Blog except for my faithful close family. Furthermore, l have been utilising Face-book ads to market myself but stopped when l noticed that people would like my page but never read my content.

 In view of all this, I went back to the drawing table to search for answers, then l stumbled upon a lady called Patrice Washington on you tube. She discussed how she implemented numerous success principles in her life. However, the one that stood out for me, was when she mentioned that she accredits all her success to “Godly winks”. Which is basically a special sign from above, acknowledging that you are on the right path. This apparently helped her through in her moments of doubt. Much similar to what l was going through.

Hence, with the understanding that wisdom is applying what you have learnt to reach set goals. l prayed and articulated to God that l would carry on writing only if l received a sign to confirm approval of my chosen path. I requested my own Godly wink from God and waited.

Even though l know that success is not an overnight or instant thing l still needed conviction to work on my Blog. I would hold onto this belief until l achieve my goals.

I had been away from my Blog for exactly a week and this morning l woke up to a notification from word press informing me that you had liked my post. Happy days! At which point l looked you up to check who you are. I was amazed, l found out that you are a best-selling author, A keynote speaker, Tele-summit strategist, founder of the Your voice and Reactive me online communities, V.i.p live streamer and Head script writer for Breaking Free International.

You are also a mother just like me. Altovise, I just wanted to write and let you know that by liking my writing, you did something extremely special for me. Thank you for being my Godly wink, this morning you have made my day and l am thankful that God used you to encourage me in my moment of weakness. You are an awesome individual, your story makes you a powerful role model to me. I needed someone like you in my life. I found you on you tube and have been listening to the interview’s you gave on podcasts.

Your two books, It’s ok to cry and Define your voice, are now top of my list.

An area of great frustration in my life has been failing to save money, even though l knew that it was a sensible thing to do as an adult.  Growing up, my father always educated us (myself and my siblings) about the importance of saving up, for a rainy day.  I understood the reality, a rainy day may present in my life, whether l liked it or not. I didn’t necessary feel obliged to prepare for it. l resolved to focus on the positive aspect of my life!

When my husband and l sat down to plan our budget, l detested having to refer to our rainy-day fund because l knew that words are powerful and l believe in utilising   words to create a favourable reality rather than focussing on the unfavourable outcome. Expecting a rainy-day, definitely seemed like a negative outcome.

In view of this l became very reluctant to talk about the rainy-day fund, l was aware that talking about it meant that a rainy day was sure to come if we expected it.  Not planning or discussing our saving initiative created a failing saving plan.

I was convinced that if we save the money, an emergency or crises needing the exact amount of money we had, in our savings would arise.  Subsequently, all our savings would be depleted, and we would need to start over. I perceived this because, the cycle had been going on and on, in my life for as long as l can remember.

However l have saved up money and achieved other goals previously, therefore l knew that the reason why l couldn’t save up extra money for opportunities was because my strategy needed evaluation.

Whenever we change seasons in our life, whenever we grow, our strategy should change as well (Dr Cindy Trimm). My new strategy for motivating myself to save up more was that, l labelled my savings fund, “the opportunity fund”. Since then my savings began to grow steadily and seeing my opportunity fund also feels me with hope and excitement.

Saving is now top of my priorities, it is the first task l do before paying all my bills. I needed to be specific and call it what it is. The opportunity fund, not the rainy day fund.

I no longer subscribe to the old-adage that knowledge is power. I have progressed onto investigating the difference between wisdom and knowledge. l have since learnt that knowledge is simply acquiring knowledge. Whilst wisdom, is actually knowing, how to apply that knowledge to achieve results in my life.

Successful people advocate implementing numerous principles to achieve set goals, i.e, journaling, affirmations, exercising, mentorship etc. I singled out a phenomenon congruent with successful people. People that go on to achieve success, are so resourceful. They always manage to connect with influential individuals, at the beginning of their career such that they will be able to provide resources needed. Tony Robbins argued that it’s not a case of having capital, it’s about being resourceful.

 Hence articulating connection became a personal goal so crucial for the reason that, connecting is the ability to relate to and identify with people in such a way that it increases your influence with them. Furthermore, your ability to influence the influencers will determine your ability to grow (John Maxwell).

According to John Maxwell, everybody communicates but few connect. My research on this subject lead to discovering helpful skills such as good listening skills, empathising and finding common ground etc.  The main thing l learned was that, it is easier to connect with someone when you connect emotionally.

Essentially all the incidents in my life that are associated with strong emotion whether its sadness, anger or happiness are easy to recall. As human beings we experience emotion and we are capable of making a connection based on this, despite our different backgrounds. Armed with this knowledge l decided to see if it works.

The person l chose to connect with is a motivational speaker called Lisa Nichols. She is a public figure and l have to admit, l wasn’t very hopeful but l decided to grow my connecting muscle, so to speak.

I am an avid fan of Lisa Nichols as you would probably know. I have listened to her speech, l read her books l follow her on social media.

My opportunity came when Lisa posted pictures of her son Jelani, who recently got married. Everybody visited Lisa’s page and expressed their congratulations. l saw my chance to connect.

I decided to pen a message to Lisa and l felt emotional as l typed it.

“Dear Lisa, l feel like l have known you and Jelani personally since Jelani was a baby. I was moved by your story,  Jelani was a little baby and after running out of money to buy diapers, you wrapped him in cloth and with tears in your eyes ,you touched him and you said, don’t worry Jelani mummy will never be this poor again. To see Jelani today as a grown man and the success you have accomplished makes me feel genuinely pleased for you! You deserve to celebrate and be happy. Congratulations!!.” I pressed post and waited.

After a few days there was no response and l consoled myself. After all Lisa is a public figure and it would probably take me a few attempts to connect with her.

As l follow her on social media, l logged in one day and hey presto!  Lisa had responded by making me a top fan on her page!!!!

I was ecstatic l knew that my message had  stood out and l had connected to Lisa emotionally. I had succeeded in connecting with Lisa, because  l observed that whenever she told the  story about reaching rock bottom with her son, she gets emotional and being a mother myself, imagining what that must have been like makes me emotional too.

I was pleased that l was able to connect with an influential person but most importantly l felt successful. I implemented my learning to achieve results.

I think the worst experience in life is to feel sad and deny that you are sad. At the worst point of my life, faced with a personal challenge l became very fearful and subsequently became very sad.

My feelings of sadness were based on fear about how l would navigate the future in view of the looming crisis in my life.

My preconceived idea was that fear is evil and should never be entertained.

What if l had known that fear is a real thing, that is seeking clarity in my life. Some people argue that fear is a real person that should be spoken to. What if l had looked fear in the face and asked why it was there and what answers it needed from me?

Fear would have turned around and informed me that it needed more answers.  It would have told me that it needed me to get more emotional support and needed me to find someone who knows more about the issue than l did at the time.  Fear would have told me that it needed more clarity.

Then what if l had known that gaining clarity would lead me to taking the required action that would free me of this fear and replace sadness with feeling untroubled about the future.

Sometimes the way we deal with sadness is based on repeated thoughts and repeated belief system and the core to shifting the belief system is to address the belief system itself (Lisa Nichols). In my sadness Island, l thought about how unlucky l was, and how no one could help me or understand the enormity of my situation.

I resolved to address the limiting core belief system initially, before rectifying the circumstances in my life.

I changed it by adopting a belief that l could conquer the challenge with more information which would enable me to learn how to manage the condition.  I began to understand that every problem is an opportunity to grow and every situation is seasonal in life just like we have day and night. l started believing that having a positive reaction to whatever was happening in my life would always lead me to a better outcome.

Addressing matters that affect mental state is a way of maintaining a healthy state of mind which is needed to pursue your purpose on this earth! The side effect is feeling happy and satisfied about your life.

Once upon a time there was a boastful Hare who insisted that he was the most intelligent of all the animals in the jungle.

Even though lion was the presiding King of the jungle, Hare was known for his cunning mannerism. He had mastered proficiency in practising feigned charm so much that he managed to win over and marry the most beautiful lady Hare in the land.

 Secretly everybody wondered how long it would take his wife to discover his deceitful ways. They were curious to know how he was getting on with his new wife.

 When Gazelle and Impala met Hare in the forest, they were quick to congratulate him for getting married. “How is married life?”  They asked.

“Fantastic!” He answered. “My lovely wife, who is very lucky to have me, is convinced that l could replace the King and take charge of all the animals in this forest.”  “l am the wisest.”  “l retain that she is correct and l agree with her!” Gazelle and Impala couldn’t hide their disdain, for obvious reasons they completely disagreed with hare. Lion is the most powerful and mighty of all of us, he is the king of the jungle they argued.

This provoked the hare and immediately he crafted an idea to contradict them. The hare confounded that, in the afternoon when they converged at the water hole, he will have a surprise ready waiting for them!

With a walk of determination, Hare went up to lion and avowed, “my lord, l possess great respect for you and I would like to honour you for being the king of the jungle.”

 Lion was very suspicious he wanted to find out what plan the shrewd Hare, had up his sleeve? The lion responded with a misgiving voice, “and how would you like to do that he asked?”   Hare yielded in front of the lion, my lord after observing you, I am bothered that all these flies are incessantly ruffling your feathers, stinging you carelessly and l feel that l can help you with that my lord.”

Instantaneously the lion’s interest was piqued! Coincidentally he was at his wits end, infuriated by the flies. Frustrated that he couldn’t reach his back were the flies would land and sting him! He was gagging to hear how the hare proposed to help.

Hare sounding sincere and polite, spoke respectively,” with your permission my king, l would like to climb on your back, and utilize a stick to disperse all the flies away.”  He looked at the lion with pleading eyes full of expectation.

The Lion couldn’t believe his luck, how he had never thought of this fantastic way of getting rid of the annoying pests. He was excited, of course that’s very kind! He quickly asked Hare to climb onto his back as he couldn’t wait for the relief of being free of those little annoying pesky flies!

Swiftly the hare jumped up, he was feeling elated and triumphant.  Ostentatiously sat on the lion with his titchy stick. Crack! he flogged the lion to scatter the flies, so the lion thought.

As they approached the waterhole, the animals there were flabbergasted! Gazelle and impala had alerted all the animals of the preposterous claim made by hare. They watched in shock as the lion drew nearer, a hare riding on the back of the most intimidating animal of them all.   They noticed that, Hare was cracking a whip, he was perfectly controlling the king of the jungle, they were gobsmacked!

 All animal stood still looking at the deviant sight! As they reached closer still, the hare, decided to blow his own trumpet. He flogged the lion vigorously and bellowed a command for lion to hasten his speed!

Lion couldn’t believe his ears, at all the animals were gawking at him. Quickly he worked out what was going on. He had been tricked. Enraged he roared loudly, jumped high to shake off the hare! The hare briskly jumped off the back of the lion and like a whirlwind skipped and hopped like crazy far away from the lion and went to hide in the bush. The lion looked hi and lo for the hare to no avail. The rest of the animals laughed and applauded the hare for fooling the most intimidating animal of them all, the king of the jungle.

It was a typical African funeral in every way. I can vividly remember all the people who sat around inside and outside the compound of my grandfather’s village home. My grandfather had unfortunately been hit by on coming bus while waiting at a bus stop. He had sustained fatal injuries and died in hospital a few days later.

 There is always a strong sense of sadness at a funeral but when you are a child, it is slightly fascinating to observe all the activity taking place. Firstly, a group of self-appointed aides would emerge. Then it seemed that a sequence of events would develop into a specified order.

 The wailing relatives would arrive and throw themselves onto the floor and roll onto the ground as they expressed their grief. The helpers would immediately swing into action, approach them to support their head or undo the child tied onto the back of the women and take their bags to a safe place.The assistants would console them whilst helping them to get up and walk them to their seats. They would sit down, inquire after everyone’s health by way of clapping. Offer their condolence and then delve into asking how the deceased had passed on, this would often take a very long time and sometimes would include discussing the deceased last words or wishes.  Often a plate of food would be offered, as they would have travelled a long way.  

Suddenly the strange man arrived, and when he did everyone stopped to look. Although there was a lot of loud lamentations and wailing going on at the funeral, it certainly was not coming from the men. African men didn’t cry loudly unless of course they were drunk. This individual, did not appear drunk but boy he knew how to scream! He was so loud, completely grief stricken, his face was so wet there were tears, snot and saliva, it was ghastly! He was chanting so loudly and weeping, as expected he threw himself on the ground outside the house and spectacularly rolled around on the ground.  None of us could make out what he was saying but we all agreed on assuming that he was granddad’s close ally.

 The weird thing about this man was that no one knew him, which is unusual as African families are usually close knit and would be familiar with every family member. Everyone was convinced after watching him that he was a close acquaintance to my deceased grandfather, his performance was impressive it was on a completely different level.

The helpers quickly moved into action they unstrapped his bags helped him up and awarded him a place near the dignitaries of the family, he had earned his place there. We all felt like saluting him, as he walked over to his allocated place.

When he sat down, everyone was puzzled he didn’t seem to be saying much, he could have been starving, he appeared very unkempt. He was offered food, gobbled it up and consumed a drink soon after. After that he asked for a tooth pick.

Whilst he was picking his teeth he decided to start talking, he asked about who had died at this specific funeral? We were all bewildered by this question but closely we observed him as we couldn’t wait to find out who he was. We carried on listening. He went onto to ask how my grandfather had died, at which point it was explained to him, that he had been hit by a bus while he stood at the bus stop.

Unbelievably he responded by laughing sarcastically and scornfully querying why my grandfather had not seen the bus coming? I held my breath!

Everyone was incensed and in shock, not only was he a disrespectful stranger, but he had done the unthinkable! He dared to speak ill of the deceased! Swiftly the atmosphere changed, and became thick with tension. You could almost cut the air with a knife! We sensed it, he did too. Before things got ugly, he quickly picked his bags up and made a run for it, headed onto the next funeral.

Cynthia was completely fed up with her husband’s wondering eyes and his obsession with the opposite sex. As she met up with her friend Grace for a walk, they started discussing how her husband’s behaviour was upsetting her.  Grace, who was an older woman, was not only able to relate with Cynthia’s current situation but proclaimed that she had banished her husband’s promiscuous behaviour for good!

Cynthia was in awe and wondered how her friend had achieved this? Grace informed her about how she had given her husband a break from the marriage vow for a week, which allowed him to pursue single ladies or create any of his fantasies only for that week! She deciphered that not being able to do certain things in particular can make then more appealing, so she resolved to fix her husband’s unpleasant habits by making those things available for him.

 Apparently, Grace’s husband had gone and done what he couldn’t do before and after that, he didn’t find it appealing anymore.  He returned to his wife and devoted all his care and attention to her because straying had lost its novelty.

As soon as Cynthia got home, she immediately issued a marriage break for a week to her thrilled husband! She argued that as he was the only one tempted to commit adultery, she wouldn’t be involved. She would stay at home and wait for him whilst he attempted to resolve this bothersome matter.

So, the elated husband went off, checked into a hotel and started seeking ladies to bring back to the hotel for a good time. He searched high and low to no avail, he realised it was tough. He had after all been out of the dating game for a while now. Only on the 7^th day he struck gold and a lady, who mistook him for somebody else, knocked on his hotel room and threw herself on him!

Meanwhile his wife decided to go out and socialise with one of her other young friends. They ended up being invited to a party and at that party, she met a very handsome young man who was so attracted to her and wanted to take things further. Although she initially resisted this unexpected temptation, she did a complete retraction and agreed.  Her husband had after all been released from the vow which meant that she was also free for that week. Unfortunately for her husband, she changed her mind and agreed to indulge so she spent the night with this attractive young man.

After spending a night with this rebellious man, she was filled with regret and shame for desecrating her marriage vow. She realised that she loved her husband   despite all the challenges, she felt abominable revulsion for committing adultery. She drove home filled with remorse and sadness with tears rolling down her eyes and obstructing her vision. Then she collided with an oncoming car and crushed!

Meanwhile the husband was wildly kissing the wayward woman who had thrown herself at him. Fortunately, just as they started to disrobe the husband received a phone call. His wife had been involved in an accident, he had to rush to the hospital.

He discovered that his wife sustained minor injuries and upon seeing her he was overwhelmed with guilty for accepting the break from the vow.  In that moment he realised that he loved his wife whole heartedly and could not contemplate losing her. He felt even more reprehensible, he couldn’t bear to think how agonising it must have been for her to imagine him and another woman. He was deplorable, how could he let that wanton lady into his room and kiss her like that?

He knelt, cried and pleaded with his wife to forgive him. Knowing what she had done, feeling conscience- stricken, she insisted that he should get up as she had something to say. But he was too overwhelmed with shame and flatly refused to let her to speak. He declared that if his wife agrees to forgive him for accepting a break from the vow then they will both forget everything and never ever talk about it for the rest of their life.

Last Sunday l listened to a sermon by Bishop Scanlon with the above title.

Did you know that around 49 people are murdered everyday in South Africa! The list of crimes is endless, rape, car hijackings, taxi violence, cash in transit heists, cash point robberies, farm attacks, kidnappings etc.

After observing this and assisting in creating rescue attempts which appeared futile, Desmond Tutu had this to say:-  You can only rescue so many  drowning people from the river before you have to go upstream to see who is pushing them in!

South Africa suffered Apartheid which was a system of institutionalised racial segregation that existed in South Africa from 1948 until the early 1990’s.

At the end of the apartheid white South Africans who made up 10% of the South African population owned roughly 90% of South African Land as a result of a series of Land Acts. More than 3.5million black South Africans were forced to live on arbitrary reservations called Bantu stands depriving them of political power and pushing them into poverty.

To this day South Africa has one of the highest gini coefficients (a measure of inequality) in the world. Research shows that inequality and crime go hand in hand and this is the problem that needs to be resolved in South Africa.

As l listened to all of this from Bishop Paul Scanlon l wondered what this has to do with me or you?

Turns out that we too have ideologies, mentalities and beliefs that maybe be drowning us. Instead of adopting the rescue mentality we need to stop and address the source of our problems.

Are we relying a little too much on these so called man of Gold who solely rely on supernatural encounters / miracles with God whilst completely ignoring education and empowerment which leads to personal development?

Perhaps we are taking too much medication because we have ended up with obese related illnesses or we are stuck in a dead-end job because going to college to obtain new skills is too much of a bother?

Although it’s easier and much more gratifying to continue rescuing sooner or later we have to confront the source of the problems in our lives even if we do this reluctantly.  It will be the beginning of the desperately needed breakthrough to progress.

 What does leadership have to do with you and me?

Numerous articles regarding leadership have been written and I will merely reflect from a Christian perspective because l believe that all the success principles are bible based.

After having observed all the problems of human kind Jesus concluded that the solution is sorting the leadership problem, we were lacking a shepherd. He looked at the community and observed that they were being harassed and appeared helpless. Harassed refers to being driven and controlled by external forces. Helpless equates to being unable to change your circumstances.  I certainly felt harassed and helpless as l carried on working at my stressful job despite all the challenges because of the expenses l had. Jesus’s statement completely resonated with me.

I needed to understand the power and importance of leadership or taking responsibility for my life because nothing happens without leadership. Furthermore nothing, succeeds, changes, advances, develops, improves or gets corrected without leadership. Leadership is necessary for things to be achieved or corrected. If there is a problem a leader needs to emerge to solve the problem!

We are always being led by something or someone directly or indirectly, by the external forces that maybe controlling our lives such as media, politicians, friends etc. Our duty is to make the right choice and choose the right guidance which in my situation was making Jesus my shepherd.

 Having a strong sense of who you are and choosing influences that impact positively on your life is what leadership is about to me. When someone chooses to take leadership of their life success will eventually be realised.

However, to understand leadership deeply we need to explore what leadership isn’t from God’s perspective.  A true leader does not require but may attract followers. It is not necessary for a leader to have a title, the greatest leader to ever live was simply known as Jesus. Needing a title identifies lack of understanding about what a leader is. Leadership doesn’t distinguish you as a superior person neither does it give you a disposition of advantage or quality of greatness. It is not a manifestation of superior intellect.

Consequently, in business a great deal of successful people dropped out of college but they still became successful at business and went onto employ some of the most intelligent people on earth.

In other words Jesus ignored all the so called good qualities of a leader and practiced servant leadership which is accessible to us at any stage of our lives.