Every Cloud has a silver lining.

One day my friends and l were talking about a girl who had been subjected to the most unbearable racist behaviour at Nottingham University. The story had gone on to feature on ITV.

Although racism is prevalent not everyone is prejudiced towards other races.  My friends are a testament to this.

 Anyway after musing about this occurrence, my friends turned towards me and asked if l had experienced any racism at all? Although this question was presented sincerely, I was stunned into silence by that query!

 I struggled to come up with an answer. The reason being, not wanting to endure any pity from my companions. This question made me realise that my friends were oblivious, to the true extent of the situation at hand. I appreciated this, as they had never travelled my journey.

 I endeavoured to enlighten them that not only had l faced racism, it was something that l dealt with every single day.  As opposed to encountering it occasionally.

I believe the silver lining to the racism cloud is deciding to achieve more in my life despite the negative rhetoric encompassing me.  My drive then becomes striving for success despite the odds and the statics.

 I suddenly realised that l couldn’t continue viewing racism negatively but to appreciate it for what it led me to become.

If you are constantly rising above adversity to aspire for success you are already on your way to becoming successful. All successful individuals understand that success can be a series of decisions that you make over a period of time.

What is the cloud in your life and how can you use that emotion positively?

Yesterday a video, about a Nigerian lady who was begging for money in Canada went viral. This lady claimed, she didn’t have sufficient cash because the government in Canada was offering her “very little money”. The person filming her went onto to ask why she had left Nigeria in the first place and she explained that the government in Nigeria was mismanaging the economy. As a result, there was extreme hardship.  To evade the poverty in Nigeria she relocated, for a better life in Canada.

I do not know the full story of why this lady was begging, but l couldn’t help but wonder why the video had gone viral. Scrounging for money to purchase food for your own children from mere strangers, appears negligent. It came across not only as irresponsible but shameful too.

It was obvious that the better life was eluding her still in Canada. Being also African, l am no stranger to the nefarious, oppressive and defective ways of a Junta Government.  But l am also aware that they’re numerous success stories of Africans in spite of these corrupt governments. Why? They have opted to take charge of their circumstances.

My question to this lady is, when do we stop playing victim and institute taking responsibility for our own lives?

No one is going to issue out an official invite for you to come and partake in the journey labelled, your own life! Think! You’re the only existing common factor here. Those two governments are not conspiring against you. In fact, they probably dislike each other, and they are not concerned about you. You are the reason why people think less of Africans.

Taking responsibility for your life and actions is a proven success principle. It is literally impossible to improve your life, if you are playing the,” blame game” and thinking that someone else, apart from you is to blame for your situation. I believe that accepting full responsibility of your situation  facilitates the progress needed to  empower yourself.

I suggest you take a close look at your life.  Introspection might provide the answers as to why things are the way they are. Sometimes blaming others is easier than admitting failure. However, that is exactly what you may need to do to take charge of your life. Start investing in yourself and you will find the truth and the truth will set you free.

When l set about finding out how to be successful, l was immensely thrilled to ascertain that, desiring change was one of the key attributes for pursuing success.

Having said that, my excitement quickly became short-lived after noticing that this desire is a fickle feeling which is best described as sporadic! It is a wish that every person engages in every so often, everybody wishes their life to change!  To advance my quest l needed to do more than wishing.

Desire or wishing for something to come true was not enough to transform life. It is precisely the reason, why my life had remained stagnant. l required ambition, a strong desire to achieve something! In reality, it was mandatory to implement ambition as a minute by minute mentality.  In order to maintain a burning desire to transform my life, l had to be intentional and strategic!

 Successful individuals have a strategy consisting simple steps, to maintain the required state of mind that facilitates triumph. If it was effortless each one of us would be wealthy. The strategy involves simple habits you have to adopt in your life to achieve success.

They have several habits to achieve this and one of those is affirmations, they religiously affirm detailed goals, dreams etc for at least 2 times a day.

 Initially I came across affirmations in the early two thousand (2003) while watching a comedy called, “All of us”. One of the leading actresses Neese James, who was full of humour, would walk up to the mirror and tell herself how beautiful she was. At the time l thought it was just that, a joke!

I discovered that, talking to oneself loudly, as loony as it seems, is what it takes. Tony Robbins teaches affirmations in great detail. Joel Osteen’s “The power of l am” Sermon, explains how every statement, that follow the words, l am, eventually become true in our life.

I have ascertained that in order to preserve a burning desire.  It will take tossing aside my inhibitions and chanting away happily day and night. My husband and kids are completely fed up as I sometimes get too loud and wake them up in the morning lol. If only they knew what l know l bet, they would be even louder than me!

 One of the most highly recommended ideology, in the field of success is seeking mentorship from a notable person who has already achieved success!

Evidently this cuts down, significantly on the journey to accomplishing success.  It minimises mistakes so often attributed to failure. The notable person can also offer their knowledge, counsel, guidance and expertise to implement decisions leading to a favourable outcome.

The dilemma is, established notable people charge a sizeable amount of money which may be too pricey initially when starting out, as l discovered. Specifically, not being able to afford all the necessities of life, propelled the desire to achieve more!

In the same context, l am cognizant of the fact that successful people charge a substantial amount because they understand the value of their time and expertise! They’ve worked hard and invested plenty of resources, time, effort and money to be where they are! Being on the opposite end of the journey makes me appreciate where they are, all the more. However in spite of all these obstacles l still need their knowledge, in order to grow into the kind of person that attracts success.

As this Blog is about sharing my experiences you will be pleased to know that l had the privilege of spending time with some of the very important public figures on earth!  

I have spent time with Bishop T.D Jakes, Joyce Meyer, Dr Cindy Trimm, Dr John Maxwell, Tony Robbins, Lisa Nichols, my girl Terri Savelle Foy (especially fond of this one) etc the list is endless. In fact I make it a point to spend time with them almost every day. Hence investing in myself isn’t always about paying out money for courses and conferences etc. Although these are also important aspects of personal development, it is also about utilising free time to access free educative material produced by successful dignitaries. This might be the only way of investing in personal growth initially.

Although honestly speaking, l never met any of them in person. I simply seek out their messages on you tube, podcasts and buy their books! Success lives a trail behind, they love to share how they achieved victory and l take full advantage of that!

In December 2016 l received the finest present l never knew l needed in my life! It was a present so essential that it  caused a paradigm shift and  changed the trajectory of my life for the better!

My dear little sister had travelled all the way from Australia to England and presented me with a gift titled “ A little God time journal for mothers”.  l looked at it curiously and even though l knew what it was, l still went ahead and asked what it was and what l was suppose to do with it. It was such a novelty no one had ever given me anything like it before!

Little sis obviously found my question very amusing, as she was already, an old hand at journaling. She replied, you write in it silly. What do l write in it l asked? Anything she replied, even how you’re feeling, she said. Wow, thanks l said, secretly thinking this is the most useless present and was sure to gather dust on my book shelf and it did.

 The journal came into my life during the time l was experiencing a great deal of stress and l never thought it might help with this. Boy was l wrong!

 Exactly 2 months after she gave me the Journal I opened it and started scribbling my thoughts!  It was liberating! Literally the weight fell of my shoulders as l began to scribble.  l only paused to get tissues. Tears were rolling down uncontrollably , collecting onto the journal and messing up my writing. l wiped the tears and persisted to scrawl until l felt depleted.

 This is how l discovered and implemented the success principle of journaling to gain clarity, focus  and direction in my life. It is therapeutic, it enables me to de-stress. Writing allowed me to analyse my situation critically! l started seeing where l was clearly i.e stress, burnout and started recording how l wanted it to be. I noticed that writing your thoughts is more peaceful than talking about them! This is a successful principle that works!

My pivotal moment of understanding was realising that sometimes the next action to take is to stop and do nothing! This means doing nothing concerning your life purpose!

Before l realised this, I would rummage the internet and social media to look at business ideas and observe what other people were doing. I thought l was looking for inspiration! The more l did this, the more l felt discouraged and demoralised. It seemed that people were far too ahead of me and had all achieved so much at a much younger age than me!  I was filled with regret about not having started sooner. I dreaded starting anything to avoid making a complete fool of myself. It appeared to be a hopeless situation!

I didn’t realise that in order to create something you need to first go through a period of silence. All the answers are found within.  Engaging introspection enabled me to gain access to dialogue in my mind. Paying attention to this voice was an eye-opening moment.  It became apparent to me that this was my impediment. That inner voice was full of defeatist chit chat. No wonder I hadn’t been able to get started!

After hearing this, I resolved to go into an even deeper silence by silencing this gloom ridden voice. l became intentional about listening to faith and confidence building messages.  l was emphatic and very strategic, when l was driving, exercising, cleaning. Anytime l heard that bleak voice l responded by shutting it down!

During listening to these messages my inner voice began to slowly change to an upbeat and constructive voice. This helpful and practical inner voice empowers you to become the creative that you need to be. When you change your inner chit-chat, you are able to come up with an original creation. Even if you tap into a flooded market. The product you create will be uniquely you.  When you decide to chase your dream or your purpose your greatest asset is you!

Consistently sharing my journey on my blog is my way of contributing or chasing my purpose. If this blog becomes well received and monetised, it might lead to creating the life l desire. This would mean earning enough profit to subsist on this Blog. Working flexible hours on my own terms and spending as much time as l need with my loved ones and becoming my own boss. Visualising this kind of a scenario becomes the dream.

 Since the dream is tethered to my purpose, assuming that the dream doesn’t materialise as quickly as l would like. l’m resolved to writing, it’s delightful. It adds value to anyone who takes time to read it. l explore ideologies acquired from successful people!

Nevertheless chasing a dream doesn’t always mean giving up your job. Financially it may not be so rewarding initially. It can be managed as a side hustle that feeds what you’re not able to get from your job or help to destress from your other job.

 When you effectuate what you adore and tie it to a good cause it demonstrates the concept that the why will always drive the how.  Hence, you start with finding out your purpose and your dream.

After finding out all this information sometimes, still deciding what to do is still problematic. In that case just start something anyway because a dream with action and plans becomes a purpose. But a dream without action and plan is just that, a hopeless dream!

Starting is difficult due to lack of self-confidence caused by questioning whether what you are doing is the right thing?  The answer is, you are never going to know without trying!  It is a journey of trial and error to discover what makes you content. Persisting in the why will help you stay focussed an eventually lead to success!

TD Jakes’ son asked his father, “dad how do l know if what l’m doing is aligned to my purpose” He smiled and answered “if it’s not then what you are doing will lead you to the purpose”!