I am not my hair.

Lately l have noticed how hard  it is to stay motivated. It is also challenging  and  difficult to remain positive. What’s more, motivating people is  worth a staggering billion dollars, so lucrative!

I pondered  about this and concluded that they can never be too much motivation material produced. Once you begin the self development journey you begin to realise that you need more and that you will will need it for the rest of your life and it becomes a lifestyle choice.

 I reached this conclusion  after interacting with a newly met friend in the name of stepping out of my comfort zone.During the interaction l even bagged a compliment! So why was l left with the bad taste in my mouth?

We had ended up sitting next to each other with this lady, l had just met, whilst out and about socialising. The conversation lingered on to what we both did for a living. At which point l offered a response explaining that l was taking time off from my career with a view to changing it altogether.

Although l made it clear that l wasn’t in a hurry to make this move my new  friend went onto to tell me, how she had a lovely job and recommended that l put in an application as they’re always recruiting. I was going to tell her about how l believed that all skills are transferable and that l actually believed l could fit into that job,when she looked at me smiling and said they will absolutely love your hair?

She really meant well there was no sarcasm or any malice intended. In that moment l realised that she was equating all my worth to how l looked!  l knew that l certainly didn’t want a job where l could be perceived based on my looks. As any women of colour would tell you l look forward to having my hair done and l want to look presentable attractive etc.

But when l present myself for a job l would hope that they would look beyond my hair and that they would realise that even when they don’t approve of my hair, l will still be able to carry out my duties to the best of my abilities. I never wanted to accept a job where l will be obsessed with my hair and paralysed with worry knowing that if it looked a certain way then it may affect my job?

Whilst it’s acceptable to push myself and step out of my comfort zone, the reality is that l  have to deal with the consequences of dealing with people who might think less of me.

This is the challenge with staying positive. It’s literally day by day moment, moment by moment, hour by hour decision kind of thing. Being new to this way of thinking  can be exhausting and draining and that’s why l need to stay plugged in to a good source of positive inspiration and motivation. 

 I acknowledge that she thought my hair was lovely. l kindly thanked her for the compliment but l realise that l can only grow when l make a conscious decision that l will not be boxed in. I am more than my hair.

4 thoughts on “I am not my hair.

  1. Great post! I think people love to put others in the box for their own benefit. However you decide to represent yourself is your choice. You’re multifaceted and subject to change how you want to wear your hair. Enjoyed reading this post x


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